Therapy Is Now In Session
by Aedammair
Summary: Atlantis' resident psychologist, Dr. Zoe Kent, always thought that psychology was a lonely profession. Until she moved to Atlantis...
1. Rodney's Session

This is another story involving my newest original character, Zoe Kent, as Atlantis' resident psychologist.

Disclaimer: Only Zoe is mine, everyone else belongs to MGM and the SciFi channel.

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Zoë Kent's first encounter with Rodney McKay involved a lot of broken glass and a hypodermic needle full of horse tranquilizers to the genius scientist's jugular. She's fifteen minutes into her second encounter – his first full session with her as the new psychologist in residence – and she'd give anything for another dose of horse tranquilizers. Either for him or her, she's not quite sure which is more appealing at the moment.

'You're very easy to talk to,' he says with a smile and she smiles back without really meaning to. Rodney McKay may be a pain in the ass, but he has his adorable moments.

'Thank you,' she says. 'It would be difficult to do this job if I wasn't, though.'

He nods. 'It's the same with my position.'

This makes her smile a little more widely. 'Do you think you're easy to talk to?' she asks, making it a question instead of a sarcastic comment.

He shrugs. 'I have to be, what with all the people I'm in charge of. If I wasn't easy to talk to, we'd never get anything accomplished.'

She scribbles 'delusional' on her notepad and continues to smile at him.

'How long have you worked in this field?' she asks, mostly out of curiosity.

'Most of my adult life. Jeannie and I were both science nerds back in high school, so I'd say twenty years or so.'

'Jeannie's your sister,' she says and Rodney nods. 'Tell me about her.'

'She's a housewife in Toronto,' he says and Zoë hears the slightest hint of disappointment in his tone. 'She's married to an engineer and has a daughter.'

'You don't sound happy that she chose to be a housewife.'

'I think she abandoned her dreams for a different life.'

'Her dreams or your dreams?' Zoë asks and Rodney's eyes go wide for a second. She's hit a nerve and she decides to cut him a little slack by changing the subject. She writes 'narcissistic tendencies' on her notepad before switching topics. 'You've worked with Colonel Carter before, haven't you?'

He relaxes very slightly. 'Yes. On and off for a couple of years at the SGC before I came to Atlantis. She's brilliant,' he says and it is, perhaps, the most honest Zoë has heard him be in the last half hour.

'Is it difficult working under someone you had a collaborative relationship with before?'

He thinks about it for a moment or two. 'Not really, no. We've always had this combative friendship, where she thinks she's smarter than me and I know I'm smarter than her, and I guess I worried that when she took over command her I'd be forced to ignore that.' He thinks a little more. 'Two years ago, I was trapped under the water on the original Lantean planet in a jumper. I would never have told her this, but it was Sam who helped me get out of it. Sheppard and Zelenka came to the rescue, but it was Sam who kept me sane while I waited.' He looks up at Zoë and she's a little taken aback by the vulnerability in his eyes. 'Do you think that's crazy?'

She smiles and shakes her head. 'No, Rodney, I don't think that's crazy.'

'Then what is it?'

Her smile broadens. 'I think that's friendship,' she says.

'Oh.' He grins her at her. 'It may be too personal a question, but how long have you been with Lorne?'

She bristles a little and then reminds herself that she asks these types of questions – it's inevitable that someone would turn them on her someday.

'Since shortly after the first time you and I met.'

'That would be the night when I went crazy,' he says and she nods. 'Sheppard told me you kicked my ass wearing Wonder Woman UnderRoos.' Again she nods, this time with a small smile and a little bit of a blush. 'I really wish I could remember that.'

'I'm slightly thankful you can't,' she says and he laughs.

'Major Lorne is a good man,' he says and she's yet again surprised by him. 'You could certainly do worse.'

She cocks her head to the side and regards him with a smile. 'And who would be worse?'

'Have you met Sheppard? He's a man whore…'

She can't help but laugh, so she does. Professionalism be damned.


	2. Ronon's Session

It's Ronon's turn to sit on her couch and stare at her while she contemplates his psyche. He arrived a little after lunch and in the last twenty minutes has said very little. In fact, when she thinks about it, she can't be sure that he's said anything at all.

'I thought we were supposed to talk,' he says finally and she has to make herself breathe normally so it doesn't sound like a sigh of relief.

'Well, that is the point of all this, but unless you actually have something you want to talk about…' It's a prompt and she's desperately hoping he picks a topic – any topic – so they don't have to stare at each other in a tangible silence for the next – she checks her watch – thirty-seven minutes.

He's thinking about it – she can see it in the way his eyebrows furrow – and he seems to come to a decision.

'Well, there is one thing.'

'What's that?'

He leans forward and rests his forearms on his thighs, clasps his hands together, and hangs his head slightly. It's the classic posture of a man embarrassed. It worries her only slightly that he's about to ask her a question regarding her relationship with Major Lorne…

'Earth women. I don't understand them.'

This time, she does breathe a sigh of relief and he looks up at her. She smiles serenely at him.

'Anything in particular or just our general personality?'

He leans back again, rests his head on the couch. 'I had dinner with Keller last night.'

Sometimes, she really hates doctor/client privilege…

'It didn't go well?'

He shrugs. 'We had a good time, but then, at the end of the night, I went to kiss her and she ran away.' He picks his head up and looks at her, an eyebrow raised. 'Did you do that to Lorne the first time he went in to kiss you, run away?'

She feels her cheeks flush at the memory of her first kiss with Evan and she clears her throat slightly. 'Not exactly, no.'

_Not at all is more like it…she helped him out of his shirt…and his very cute Batman boxers…_

'So why'd she run away?'

She takes a deep breath and tries to clear her head of the fog that is her relationship with Lorne. 'There are a lot of different reasons, Ronon. My only answer is that you should ask her why she ran away.'

He considers this for a moment and then shrugs again.

'It's worth a shot.'

They sit quietly for a few moments and she wonders if they're done. She's just about to ask him if there's anything else he'd like to talk with her about when he sits up and grins at her.

'So you and Lorne…'

She can feel the blush reach her toes.


	3. Teyla's Session

Zoë had agreed in the beginning, when Woolsey instituted these mandatory sessions, to accommodate Teyla's motherhood and her position with Colonel Sheppard's team, so when it was asked if the psychologist could make a house call this time around, she readily agreed – if for no other reason than it allowed her to leave her office for a little while.

'Are you finding your footing?' Zoë asks her and Teyla smiles. It isn't hard to see the exhaustion behind those brown eyes, but Zoë knows it's a healthy exhaustion and so she says nothing.

'Yes, though I'm afraid I may look a tad exhausted to you.'

This is why Zoë likes Teyla – the Althosian woman makes her sessions easy, unlike her male teammates who would rather talk about anything other than themselves.

'You're a new mother and on top of that, you've started going into the field again. Exhaustion is understandable. I'd be worried if you weren't.' She smiles and sips the strong tea. Teyla will often bring a thermos of the brew with her to her sessions and Zoë has quickly become addicted to it. It smells like chamomile and tastes like peppermint.

'And how are you fairing?' Teyla asks. 'I heard about Major Lorne's unfortunate run in with hostile natives the other day.'

Evan had come home three days earlier with a bullet hole in his right calf and the temperament of an agitated bear. She'd stayed in the infirmary with him, even when he'd told her – using loud words and what could only be described as a bitchy tone – to go home and sleep. She realizes now that yelling at him for being a cranky jackass with a hole in his leg (her words, exactly) was slightly insensitive, but at the time it felt really good to vent.

She smiles slightly at Teyla. 'Evan is fine, and so am I, though I'm sure you've heard about my outburst in the infirmary when he first arrived home.'

Teyla laughs at this. 'I'm afraid Carson is not very good at keeping things to himself, unlike Jennifer.'

Zoë makes a mental note to have a word with the resident Scotsman about privileges and painful places to be kicked. She shifts gears away from her relationship, though she does note that far too many people ask her questions about what goes on with her and Lorne…Atlantis and small town America have far too much in common for her liking.

'What about Canaan? How is he doing with the move and his treatment?'

Her face glows even in the dimness of the room and it brings a wide smile to Zoë's face. She's seen a woman in love many times and Teyla is radiating love like a heater.

'He is doing very well.' She lowers her head slightly and her voice drops an octave, a sure sign she's about to share a secret. 'He has asked me to marry him.' Zoë waits for Teyla's reaction before she has her own. She's excited, but she doesn't want to seem so if Teyla isn't. When Teyla looks up, her eyes are bright and the smile on her face is beaming. 'I said yes.'

'That's wonderful!' Zoë exclaims, surprising herself with her zeal. She's never been fond of marriage, though mostly for herself. She thinks it's a wonderful institution for other people. 'Congratulations.'

'Thank you.' Her smile lessens slightly. 'I have not yet told the others, specifically John.'

'You're worried about what he'll think?'

'Slightly. He took the news of my pregnancy badly. I worry that he will be equally unhappy about my engagement.'

Zoë considers this for a moment and thinks over the things Evan has told her about the relationship between both John and Teyla and John and Elizabeth Weir. She wonders just how much of it is rumor. She decides to give Teyla advice as part psychologist, part friend.

'He cares about you, Teyla,' she says and Teyla smiles slightly. 'He will be happy for you.'

Her smile widens. 'I hope so, especially when I ask him to be my…maid-of-honor, I believe you call it?'

At the image of John Sheppard in a dress, Zoë loses her ability to think straight and she begins to laugh. She's thankful to hear Teyla's laughter join her own and it isn't until they hear Torrin fussing across the room that they finally begin to calm down.


	4. John's Session

John Sheppard arrives for his session on her couch looking bright eyed and bushy tailed. Zoe envies his alertness, as it is far too early for her to actually be awake and functioning…especially without coffee. In fact, she's almost finished preparing her French Press when he arrives and she makes a mental note that for all his faults, he seems to have impeccable timing.

'Morning, Doc,' he says as he sits down.

'Coffee?' she asks as she pours herself a cup. He shakes his head and she wonders if his hair just does that naturally or if he spends hours making it look that messy. She takes her cup with her and sits down on the couch opposite him, sips at the warm blend of spices. She says nothing, just lets him take his time, and after a few minutes she can see the quiet is making him visibly uncomfortable.

'I thought you were supposed to talk,' he says.

She quirks her head to the side, smiles slightly. 'I don't remember that being in the psychologists' handbook, but my copy is a little outdated. I'll have to check later.'

He frowns a little. 'You're really different from other psychologists.'

'How many have you known?' she asks, settling in for the session, her mug still in her hands and her attention focused solely on him.

He shrugs. 'A few. They were all a little strange.'

'And I'm not?' she asks, smiling fully this time.

He grins. 'Definitely not in the same way.' He studies her for a minute. 'Is it weird, talking with me while you're dating one of my officers?'

She shakes her head. 'Why would it be? You and I talk on a regular basis, we just happen to talk about different things while we're outside this office.'

'Baseball probably isn't a good topic for a psychological session,' he says with a grin.

Zoe shrugs. 'If that's what you'd like to talk about, then let me start by stating I'm a Red Sox fan and I will banish you from my office immediately if you use the words 'A Rod' and 'God save the Yankees' in any of your sentences.'

He laughs outright and shakes his head. 'A Red Sox fan. What on earth do you see in my Cubs loving second in command?'

Zoe smiles but says nothing. She tries to steer the topic of conversation away from her relationship with Evan. These sessions are never meant to be about her personal life – they're meant for the client's issues and need to discuss things.

But, because he started it…

'Tell me about Doctor Weir,' she says and watches his relaxed posture instantly stiffen.

'What about her?' he asks and she's reminded of a petulant teenager. His arms are crossed and his tone of voice is defensive. She knows she's struck and nerve and were he anyone else, she'd change the subject, but part of her wants to know why he's like he is.

'Well, I've heard the rumors. If there's any truth to them at all, then losing her must have been devastating for you.'

He stares at her for a minute and then stands.

'I've got a meeting with some scientists in ten minutes. Good talking to you, Doc.'

She nods and watches him go. She stays where she is on the couch, coffee mug still in hand. She takes a sip of it and thinks that maybe, just maybe, John Sheppard isn't as much Captain Kirk and bravado as he'd have the world believe.


	5. The Doctor's Apology

Psychology is a lonely existence, made lonelier by the place in which you practice.

Zoë has learned in her short tenure on Atlantis that it's not an easy thing to become friends with people who view you as a secret keeper. How many Catholics can claim a friendship with the priest who absolves them of their sins? In many ways, she feels blessed to have met Evan and to have been given this opportunity. In many others, she wishes she'd never left Boston.

It's far past a decent hour and she's in the mess hall with Evan, Teyla and Ronon and they are each telling stories of childhood and teenage exploits. So far, she has learned that Ronon would have been a juvenile delinquent if he'd lived on Earth as a teenager and the man she sleeps with, the man who knows a handful of her own darkest secrets, has been keeping from her the fact that he played the tuba in the high school band.

'Tubas are bigger than you,' she says through laughter and this description makes Ronon laugh, as does the offended expression on Evan's face. 'How did you hold it up?'

He flexes his muscles. 'I've always had these bad boys.'

Zoë looks at him, then at Teyla, and the two women break out in peals of laughter. In fact, they're too busy laughing to realize that Sheppard has arrived in the mess and is standing at the head of their table. When she sobers slightly, he smiles a little and points to the balcony behind their table.

'Could I have a moment, Doc?' he asks and she nods, excuses herself from the table. At Evan's questioning look, she shakes her head and squeezes his shoulder as she passes by him.

They exit the mess and step out onto the balcony, coming to rest at the railing. The city is dark all around them, with pinpoints of light coming from the various towers and spires and the effect is beautiful, like standing in the center of a constellation. They stand shoulder to shoulder, neither of them speaking, for what seems like eons but is, in reality, only a few quiet minutes.

He breaks it first.

'She took a chance on me, four years ago when we started out on this project. She risked her job to make sure I came with her.' His hands clench and unclench against the night air. 'I failed her.'

'How?'

He shrugs. 'By not protecting her, by not living up to the high standard she set.' He looks at her and she sees a broken boy instead a brave Colonel. 'By getting her killed.'

Zoë sighs, turns away from him. The night air is cold against her cheeks and she can hear laughter drifting out from the mess. She tries to remember what life was like before she met Evan and she can't, which both elates her and scares the hell out of her at the same time. She wonders if John can remember what his life was like before Atlantis, and as she sneaks a glance at him and sees the concentration on his face as he stares out at his city, she realizes that no one here probably remembers what life was like in the before.

'I've read the reports, John,' she says, her voice tired even to her own ears. 'She made the choice to save you all at the risk of her own life. From everything I've read about her, she was a greater good kind of woman – one life for the lives of many.' He says nothing and she looks at him once more. 'You loved her,' she says.

'We all did.' The response is too automatic, too rehearsed, and it doesn't take a trained psychologist to see that he's repeated it to himself one too many times in the last four years.

'Perhaps, but you were_ in_ love with her.'

He hangs his head. 'Let's just say that I cared about her a lot more than I was supposed to.'

She knows that it's an admission that takes a lot out of him. She smiles at him slightly and pats his shoulder.

'You're cleared for duty, Colonel.'

He looks up from the water below, surprised. 'What?'

'Do you know what the point of all these mandated sessions is?' she asks and he shakes his head, messy hair catching in the gentle ocean breeze that's kicked up. 'To determine if Atlantis is screwing with your head. I sit on my couch and I listen to you and in the middle of these random conversations I look for indicators that the time away from Earth is having a detrimental effect on your minds. I needed you to be open and honest with me, to give me something that would prove to me you weren't the asshole your bravado presented you to be.'

He smiles at this, a flash of a grin that's blaring white against the darkness.

'I'm sorry I brought up Doctor Weir,' she says. 'It was unfair of me and insensitive.' It's her turn to smile slightly. 'All the things a good psychologist should know not to do.'

'And I'm sorry I asked you about Lorne. It isn't any of my business and you're just doing your job by asking us all these questions.'

'That's the hardest part of this, you know, the living amongst my clients.' She turns back to watch the black ocean crash against the pier below them. 'I sometimes wonder what my life here would be like if I hadn't met Evan, if I'd be alone in this place.'

John snorts in disbelief and she turns to look at him.

'You kicked Rodney's ass in your underwear,' he says with what sounds like a mixture of awe and affection. He's grinning from ear to ear. 'If it wasn't for Lorne, I probably would have asked you out myself.'

She laughs and they turn towards the door. 'I would have turned you down,' she says and he frowns at her.

'What? Why?'

'Because,' she says as she holds the door open for him, 'Rodney told me you're a man whore.'

She smiles at him for good measure and he begins to laugh – loud and deep from within his chest – and when he tells the group at the table what she said, they all join in and for the first time in a long time, Zoë wonders why they told her in graduate school that psychology was a lonely profession.


End file.
